A couple of weeks ago, I had a meeting with a bride who was looking for a planner and designer who could fit both the cultures into the festive celebrations for their wedding since both had different faith yet both were from India. She began with explaining that everything is going well among the couple, but it has been difficult to communicate with families and how it has been challenging. While we were discussing about picking up a venue, she said, “I sometimes wonder what is the definition of a perfect wedding?”
An excellent question, especially when one among bride and groom feel that they have to continuous fill the gap when and where required. Most of the brides and grooms would love to marry in the traditional way or at least introduce quite a few elements of a traditional wedding ceremony from their perspective, cultural backgrounds.
I shared with her my opinion on the subject and also the emphasis on the point that I can only help her in making her wedding day flawless giving you both happy memories. I also talked about how the bride and groom’s or couples personalities play a big role in making everything happen smoothly. I suggested her to make a list of the things that they would like to incorporate since they were born here in US and wanted to add taste of their birth land.
It is always a fantastic idea to include the family and cultural traditions from both sides along with your fingerprints because this is what family and guests would remember and began with respecting your personalized flavor. Getting married is just the beginning into accepting and respecting each other’s norms and way of life that both have an accustomed to for many years.
Here is a list that I always suggest to multi-cultural couples so that they can bridge the gap long before the wedding day. Also, sorting everything, in the beginning, would help lower the cost in multiple directions and allocate the resources wisely to have a dream wedding.
1. List the traditions that are important to both sides of the families.
2. Pen down traditions from most important to least.
3. List the significance of the ceremony.
4. Create a checklist with the food choices and then decide whether to mix or have two ceremonies.
5. Have number count of veg. And non-veg. Guests so that you could make the decision, whether to have a buffet or be served on tables.
6. List the music list for DJ with the language and little explanation or even give DJ the site where he or she could learn and educate themselves so that no error happens.
7. Make sure to list what you both want and then prioritize
8. Make sure both the families understand the changes you both agreed upon to accommodate traditions from both sides.
9. Keep the communication open because it is your wedding and celebrating love to spend the rest of lives together is the most important of all.
10. Do not forget to make a list of what you want your photographer to capture throughout wedding celebration.
It’s natural for the couples to feel extra pressure when they come from different backgrounds holding traditions that are far apart. My only advice would be to listen to each other, take notes and then discuss because this would allow building a platform where you both as bride and groom could begin your new chapter of life through mutual respect, understanding and love.
In the end, it would matter less as for how big was your wedding. All that would make your wedding memorable is making your guest feel important sharing your personal and lovable moments in life.
Do you feel that getting married itself is a test when there is the blend of two cultures, and it comes to following the traditions and making choices to create a melting pot for a harmonious life?
Love to hear what you have to say
Photo: Mike Colon'